Insight is nothing without action. We can have all the clarity in the world about what does and doesn’t work for us, but if we don’t put it into motion, it’s just an idea. The things we struggle to get clarity over – the important things in life – are often the hardest things to build action plans around. If it was easy, we would have likely pulled together a grand strategy and executed. With low stakes come low risks. 

Unfortunately, we’re masters of procrastinating.

Even the most high-achieving, productive, diligent and disciplined of us, are (fortunately and unfortunately) excellent at avoiding the big questions in life. We’re fantastic at getting things done. Executing at the obvious stuff – the job, the partner, the promotion, the mortgage, the raise. The low risk, high reward stuff. These get us cultural approval, status in society, acceptance from our parents, and points from those in power. We’re very good at these sorts of action plans. 

But going deep and exploring if we are really happy in our careers, if we really are with the right person after all, whether we live in the right place, whether or not we should have kids…. These big, big questions are harder.

If you read my previous blog posts on discerning and translating, you’ll know that there is a process to digging deep and looking at these, ostensibly very terrifying, questions. There are ways of examining them internally without creating too much friction or self doubt. We can spot discontent, identify misalignment, pick up on incongruence with our life plan and happiness. 

The next step, then, is making action out of this. Which is suddenly much more scary. 

Because what if we rock the boat?

• What if we jeopardise our relationship? Our marriage? Our family life?

• What if we throw in the towel on a perfectly good career?

• What if we give in to our impulses and just go off the rails?

• What if we humiliate ourselves?

• What if we embarrass people?

• What if we can’t turn back?

• What if it’s all too much?

• What if we get ostracised by our community?

• What if we lose everything?

• What if we die?

These are all very fair and understandable fears. Of course we’re terrified. We spent so long hunkering down to build the blocks of our lives. Following the textbook and jumping through every hoop we had to. We’ve come so far. Of course we don’t want to lose it all. We don’t want to risk it.

And we don’t have to.

Not risk it in the strictest sense, at least. We might end up changing it, sure. But that change will come from a place of wide-eyed, fully-aware, consciously-chosen, I’m-in-control decision making that you own. On your terms.

This is extremely important if we want to avoid having a full blown meltdown as our nervous systems crash.

What is more, acting from a place of self-connection lets us be conscious, aware, and intentional about where we go next. When we operate from a place of self-disconnection, like so many of the world do, every day, we operate from default, defensiveness, ego-projection, fear, and reactivity. That’s not great in the long term.

What we have to do then, is build a plan to take micro-actions. Tiny little one degree shifts that can begin to make sense of what we suspect is true for us, test the waters, and take stock of how we feel next. A plan of gentle, manageable, safe, and iterable actions.

This is how we ‘act’ on our gut instincts. We don’t throw the baby out with the bath water, but we test things instead. Not totally sure what we are testing with the baby…but you get my gist. Like a scientist, we craft our hypothesis, and test, test, test.

With each step, we pause. Make sense of what’s happened, how things have changed. Take inventory of where we’re at, and how we feel. We stay rigorously connected to ourselves, and keep that dialogue going through and through. We check in. We evaluate. And then, we take another little step. And so on, so forth. Maybe the steps are linear and all in a straight line. Maybe they’re sideways. Maybe we even take a step back at times. But the point is, we make an action plan to take tiny action steps to test our hypotheses -- and from that plan, we act.

Suddenly, the big, high-risk, terrifying questions in life don’t feel so frightening to look at.

Think you might want to end your relationship? Make an action plan to test this idea with the right one degree shifts. Ones that involve questions you ask yourself, possible solutions to your misery that you can try, and explorations with your inner self to ascertain what you need before you make any drastic leaps. The last thing you want to do is rupture something that you might regret. Possibly create a Brexit-esque situation and bolt blindly on a relationship that perhaps could be fixed.

Perhaps you want to pivot careers. So you look at it from all angles, explore all the risks, collate all the challenges and data points you need to solve for, and make a manageable plan. You take a step forward, test, and evaluate. Each step brings you closer to creating your own clarity. No leaps into the dark, just solid, honest, steps forward with a strategy.

The key is to take tiny manageable steps and not dive head first into something that will wreck your nervous system. High achievers, type A’s, leaders, founders are generally people who like safety. We like to manage our risks. We like to fit in. To belong. To feel safe. So this has to be paramount.

This is where I can help.

I support people like you all the time in identifying and creating these strategies, helping them move the needle on the changes they want to see in their lives. If you’d like me to support you, I would be glad to. Book a call with me here.