One of the hardest things we can experience in a relationship is the feeling of uncertainty and indecision. When we feel stuck in a state of limbo, unable to move forward and relax into the relationship, or unable to exit and start our life anew, we can feel trapped.

It can feel exhausting, in fact.

Being in this liminal space between wanting to stay, loving them, and making it work…but also feeling unsupported, alone, and afraid of your future together…

Feeling like you have to walk around on eggshells a fair amount of the time…

Feeling like there is something wrong with you, maybe you’re fault finding, nit picking, seeing flaws where there shouldn't be any…

Or maybe you’re actually right to be feeling anxious and nervous, maybe there are actually red flags going on…

Maybe you should stay and double down…maybe you should go and find an easier relationship…

…is incredibly hard. 

I know, I have been there myself.

Especially when the stakes feel high. You’ve got merged investments, maybe a home together, maybe kids…I get it. I really do.

  

I had put my all into my first engagement. 

  

And, ostensibly, we had a great relationship. 

 

We had a good group of friends. I loved his family. They loved me. We had great careers that we both enjoyed. We shared expenses, chores, and we felt like a decent team. Birthdays and celebrations were full of champagne and laughter, weekends were mini breaks and seeing friends. He bought me flowers regularly, took me out on date nights, and I felt special.

 

And yet…

  

Beneath the glossy ‘Instagram perfect’ veneer, I felt anxious. At times, I’d feel unsupported, and alone in our dynamic. I found myself spending a lot of time worrying. Waiting for him to show up for me, to do what I needed him to do — whether that was to be more there for me, text me back fast enough, or commit more. I wondered if he thought I was being too needy, too demanding, too sensitive. 

 

I found myself feeling doubtful when I’d catch him on his phone, texting his female friends or his colleagues. I’d wonder who he was talking to on social media and why he’d turn his phone away when I looked over. I wondered what he really thought about my high-flying career, the fact I went to Oxford, and earned more than him. I wondered if I was too much for him, too ‘masculine’, if I needed to ‘soften’. I wondered if the validation I was giving him was enough. 

 

Overtime, we argued a lot. I would raise an issue, and we would spin into a cycle of defensiveness and throwing grenades at each other. I would feel invalidated, unseen, and unheard, and I would get upset, angry, and lash out. And he would shut down, walk away, and shut down. 

 

Eventually, our conflicts became so frequent that I began to work harder, longer hours, and lose myself in my work. He would disappear too, into sports, or his phone.

 

I eventually got us to try marital counseling.

 

Yet in the counseling room, we were the picture-perfect partnership. Vulnerable and opening up. Our love seemed so strong in there, yet when we left the counselor's room, it was like nothing had happened. We would revert to our status quo. 

 

Homework practices were impossible to complete, and over the months, after spending thousands of dollars, we'd barely moved the needle.

I started noticing myself craving the attention of other men, in male colleagues and friends. Would they understand me? Be more loving? Give me more connection? 

 

Or was it me? Was I being too critical maybe? Too harsh? Too judgmental?

 

Maybe my expectations were unreasonable? Was I being too fussy, too high-achieving? Maybe this was normal, and he was good enough, and I just needed to be grateful?

 

Maybe I just needed to get over myself and praise him, to give him the validation he clearly needed, and to soften into a more devotional feminine role? Was I too masculine?

 

Maybe I was just anxious and highly strung?

 

Or maybe we just weren’t actually meant to be together?

 

But I didn’t want to give up on us.

 

We’d come so far…and we were so good together…

 

I doubled down on figuring this out. 

 

I’d been seeing a therapist for 7 years at this point, and he was with me throughout the duration of that dark time. 

 

We talked at length about my experience, about how unhappy I was, at my anxiety, and it was empathetic and helpful, but I never got clarity on what to do. I felt some relief, sure, but never an action plan.

 

So I started taking matters into my own hands.

As an Oxford graduate, working in behavioral science, I needed to understand what the heck was going on.

At the time, I was training as a mindfulness teacher, so I started digging more into my anxiousness. I got curious about its root causes. I discovered attachment theory. I began educating myself on the unconscious mind. I revisited all I had learned in my NLP and hypnotherapy training, 13 years prior.

 

I worked on my ‘emasculating’ energy. I got myself a relationship coach. She helped me start to realize where I was projecting some of my own past pain, some of my own unconscious blocks onto the relationship. So I started to clear through these.

I started to go inward into what I discovered to be my core wounds. I started to process them. I began to clear them.

  

I trawled through all the Behavioral Science resources I had available to me at work. 

 

I kept digging. And digging. 

I was lucky to be earning a healthy 6 figure salary then, too, so I was able to invest into more resources, more working with experts, more support. 

 

And what happened next is as if some divine force had taken over…

…and all my answers came to me. I began to see the relationship clearly.

I saw myself clearly, and what I was doing to contribute to the dynamic. 

I cleared it, I solved it.

And fast forward to now, faster than I would have ever imagined, I have the most incredible relationship of my dreams.

How did I do it all back then? What did it take?

It took (what I know now to be) the Behavioral Science of Attraction.

A 3 phase methodology that brings together everything that I know to be the best science, tools, and techniques out there to healing your relationship.

These include working with the unconscious mind (hacking it, essentially), clearing core wounds, using somatics, learning the psychology of healthy relationships, and creating strategy, into a seamless, coherent system.

This system can be broken down into 3 phases:

1. Liberation

2. Behavioral Science

3. Integrity

And in each phase, you work through 4 core stages of healing and improving your relationship.

This is now my proprietary methodology, which I have trademarked, and taken tons of executives and entrepreneurs through. It achieves remarkable results really, really fast….

Because you are working intelligently, in a chronological, smart order, where the results can compound on each other to deliver even more results.

So in the first phase, you focus on Liberating yourself from your past. The unconscious wounds, the patterns, the blocks, the blind spots, and all your emotional triggers, you clear out quickly and efficiently to ensure you can see your relationship clearly - and think clearly. To ensure you have taken 100% ownership over YOUR side of the street.

The second phase, Behavioral Science, is all about getting clear on what you want and need in your relationship… which you can only really do after you have cleared out your blocks, otherwise you can’t see things clearly. It’s like asking you to taste something delicious whilst you are sick and congested with flu…you won’t taste anything or even know what you want to taste because your taste buds are shut down with the disease. You have to clear the blocks, the disease, before you can taste things clearly, i.e. know what you want and need in your relationship (and life) to be happy. So you can only do this once you’ve cleared the garbage holding you back out, but once that's cleared, you then look at what you need in your relationship to be truly happy.  

The third phase, the Integrity phase, is all about taking action. Which is more strategy, optimizing your life, learning to communicate, and get your life in order so that your relationship is flowing beautifully, fully, and abundantly. Again you cannot do this phase until you’ve cleared out your unconscious blocks, and know what direction you want to be heading in.

These 3 phases, comprise the Behavioral Science of Attraction based method, the Successfully in Love method, that I teach.

And the best thing is, I teach you how to do this so that you can then apply it to yourself in other areas of your life if you need to.

You essentially become your own Guru, and you don't need me, or a therapist, going forward.

All of this we can do together in 3 - 6 months.

3 months if you want to do this 1:1, 6 months if you prefer to do this as part of a formal program, receiving 1:1. You gain access to an exclusive, small and ultra-vetted community of like minded professionals in this instance, and a formal curriculum on a platform that you can digest and have access to the resources for life.

Both options are fantastic and can be achieved in as little as 15 minutes of practise a day.

I get that you are ultra busy so my goal with this work is to make it as easeful and effortless as possible, whilst getting you the most efficient results in your relationship.

The investment for either of these options ranges from the mid to high four-figure mark, depending on what you choose. 

If this resonates with you and you’d like to learn more about how I can help you, definitely DM me ‘TEACH ME’ and I will be glad to share more about how I can help you level up your love life - fast.