Katarina Polonska Coaching

View Original

You need to know this about love

There had to be another way.

Deep down I knew that what I had with my ex fiance, what I had in that relationship, with all of its instagram perfect moments, wasn’t enough.

I knew that our ‘love’ wasn’t enough.

I knew that how I felt wasn’t enough.

And I knew that there had to be another way.

I am so grateful, so unspeakably grateful, that I never gave up on creating the healthy, loving, secure relationship that I know now I deserve.

I am so grateful that I fought for more.

That even when things felt dark, and my future felt so bleak…

…alone, blinking into the dark of our apartment, fighting back tears at midnight, unable to sleep…

…exhausted from endless marriage counseling, processing with my therapist, and feeling afraid of my future…

…feeling alone, unsupported, and scared…

…in my 30s, wanting a family, wanting stability, wanting to finally feel true love and live a full life…

I’m so grateful that I fought for more.

I’m so grateful that I even knew that more existed.

(and I don’t know how - my parents are divorced, my older brother is single, and I come from an ancestry of unhappy marriages).

Yet I’m so grateful that I believed.

So grateful that I rolled my sleeves up, and started doing the inner work with so much gusto.

And so eternally grateful for the resources that I hunted out back then:

My own relationship coach, my own integrated attachment theory teacher, my mindfulness teachers, and the entourage of brilliant minds, all devoted to love, who showed me the way.

Who I invested into.

Who I chose to work with.

Some of them really pushing the boundaries of what I could afford…

…but I was desperate. I needed help. I needed guidance.

Who showed me that I was blocking myself.

Who showed me how to identify where I was blocked.

Who showed me how to begin to clear those blocks.

Who reminded me what I already knew, and have known since I was 17 when I first trained in working with healing, the unconscious mind, and personal growth.

Who helped me be resourceful, to build a roadmap to becoming happy, confident, and secure in my own skin.

And ultimately gave me the confidence to live my best life, finally free of my blocks, and free to pursue the life of my dreams.

Because it’s in that fateful space, where I’d let go of what had been holding me back for over 3 decades, that I found my freedom.

The freedom to do what I’d never dared to do before - the sabbatical in Spain, the business, the power to go to music festivals alone and dance like no one was watching…

…and the freedom to meet my husband, serendipitously, on that dance floor.

And the freedom to believe anything is possible together.

Even though he was in Canada, and I was in the UK. (How would we make it work?!)

Even though we had no country we could live in together, legally. (Where would we live?!)

Even though we had more than our fair share of challenges: fertility pressures, financial pressures, visa and logistics pressures, buying a home together in what felt like the Wild West, moving to a foreign country, not speaking the language, having no community, no friends, working 12 hour days to build my business, a year spent together working late nights hunched over my laptop, sacrificing so many things…

Yet throughout it all…

Confident in ourselves, confident in each other, confident in our love.

Celebrating our love, our union, our coming together.

Because the truth is, it’s because I cleared all my unconscious blocks to receiving healthy love that I was able to receive it with such abundance.

That I was able to feel safe throughout the chaos, commit my heart, devote my life, and surrender so fully to our love.

We didn’t really need a wedding.

“What’s the point, you’ve got the paperwork”.

Yet this weekend we took our marriage to a whole new level.

Despite our busy schedules, endless travel plans and selling our apartment in Spain, despite all of this chaos, we consciously chose to throw a big, big, party.

We brought together all of our international family and friends, to the city we got engaged in, and the city that was my turning point for discovering the power of gender dynamics (and gave me one of the happiest years of my life) - Oxford.

We hired my old University hall, Jesus College, and went a little bit wild.

We had tons of food, delicious champagne, wine, and I got to wear the beautiful dress that my papa had bought for me from Ukraine.

We received a blessing by the reverend, in the presence of God, at the chapel I used to meditate in as a student.

And we danced our socks off, late into the early hours, laughing so much my cheeks were sore in the morning, and my feet swollen.

I am so grateful for all the love that this man has injected into my life.

And all the love we have from our beautiful community of kind, generous, and loving souls.

Now, I fully intend to make these huge parties a regular part of our marriage.

In fact, I may start integrating wedding planning and renewal of vows parties & retreats into my Successfully in Love ® program ;)

Truly, I am so grateful for all the inner work that is available to us.

Friends:

You can have the relationship of your dreams.

You just have to want it.

And be open to receiving help to get it.

I am so glad I asked for help, all those many years ago.

And I am so honoured to be able to help others.

In fact, I invited one of my most beloved clients to the celebrations :)

Because I can help you.

I can help you create the most wonderful and nourishing love you could wish for.

It all starts with you - and you can do this process solo.

I promise you.

It only takes one person to change the whole trajectory of your relationship.

My Liberation from your Unconscious Blocks program is available as of this week for purchase.

The first 10 people get it for $497 and receive a coaching call with me. This is hands down going to be one of the best $497 investments you will ever make. I promise you.

Register for the waitlist here.