Ever felt a bit resentful of your partner...? Then this one's for you.
Ever felt a bit resentful of your partner?
Like you’ve worked extremely hard all year and now you’re feeling burned out and emotionally neglected in the run up to Christmas because your partner hasn’t worked HALF as hard as you…
…and don’t seem to get how you’re feeling or what you need?
In fact, they’re dancing away in the kitchen preparing dinner feeling all festive with Christmas anthems on whilst you’re grinding in your office feeling more and more resentful, like you’re being denied something?
And now you’re feeling burned out and exhausted before Christmas has even started?
The reason you’re feeling this way isn’t because you have a bad partner, or are with the wrong person.
In fact, your partner is likely very much the RIGHT person because in my experience, two ambitious breadwinners under one roof doesn’t make the best relationship.
Your partner taking care of things whilst you’re able to produce and provide is a sign that they’ve likely played a part in your success.
However, it is fair to say that your needs are likely NOT getting met.
And THIS is the reason you’re feeling so exhausted (and likely lonely).
And the reason your needs aren’t getting met, is likely because:
You don’t know what your needs are
Your needs are buried beneath your subconscious blocks (or past pains, as I like to call them)
Now, disclaimer: your partner MAY be wrong for you and incompatible with your needs, absolutely.
But it’s almost impossible to know this for sure until you’ve got clarity on whether you are blocking yourself and your needs - and at least tried to meet your own needs to at least a 50% mark, so that you’re generally fulfilled and happy on your own (which is the hallmark of a healthy, secure human).
So the first step to overcoming your sense of burnout and emotional neglect is to get clarity on what your needs are.
Thing is, this is more complex than just thinking, ‘hmm what do I need? I need a holiday’.
Because what you think you need, the holiday, the wine, whatever it is, is likely going to be a band-aid solution to something deeper within you that needs fulfilling.
And you won’t necessarily know what that is, if you have subconscious blocks around getting your needs met.
Which, unfortunately, in my experience, most high performing individuals have.
In fact, the REASON you are so high performing half the time is BECAUSE you have so many subconscious blocks around getting your needs met, that you have become an excellent ‘doer’ and have an incredible drive to get things done - whatever happens.
And those blocks will likely be there from childhood, telling you that you’re not worthy of getting your needs met until you've achieved X- or you’re not safe to get your needs met, because no one will listen to you anyway and you'll just get rejected.
So you never ask your partner for what you truly want (them to step up, and help financially, for example), because you’re so subconsciously afraid of being ignored or rejected, that you block yourself, stuff the need down, and get on with it.
So the solution lies in getting clarity on what your needs are…which likely will require you to identify what blocks you have to getting your needs met, and clearing those too.
If this sounds complex, rest assured - because all of this I can help you with.
In fact, I specialise in helping high performers identify what their subconscious blocks are (to being happy, to being fulfilled, to feeling connected, loved, safe, and so on), and then overcoming them.
I also help you get clear on what your needs are, and teach science-backed strategies to getting these needs met with your partner - so that you can stop feeling so burned out and wretched in the run up to Christmas (and beyond).
I do all of this in my 90 day program, which is geared at helping you get the intimacy, trust and connection that you desire - and deserve.
If this resonates with you, book a call with me to learn more.
Feel free to share a little about your situation & what’s happening for you.
If it makes sense for us to connect on a call, I’ll be glad to do a meet & greet and share more about the program.
