Blog Posts
Feeling alone and unsupported in your relationship? Here's what you need to do.
If you’re an ambitious professional who’s feeling unsure about your partner because you’re carrying all the responsibilities and taking the lead on virtually everything in your relationship…
…and all you feel is alone and unsupported in it…
…and sometimes even like you’re maybe doing too much (though you also feel like you can’t fully depend on them)...
…the way forward for you lies in:
Why counseling or therapy are NOT going to save your marriage
When you are expected to guide the therapist with what you want to talk about, it can be near impossible to go to the murkier, darker recesses of your subconscious. You may go there accidentally, but you certainly are unlikely to want to stay there. In fact, the human brain is pretty incredible at repressing and hiding things from us. So that keeps you stuck at the superficial, surface level of things.
Beneath this superficial veneer, though, is where all of your deeper issues lie. These are composed of your subconscious blocks, beliefs, core wounds, and other bits of conditioning that you will have accrued since childhood - between the ages of 0-8 in fact.
The death sentence to your happiness and marriage
He started to subconsciously actively avoid spending time alone where he’d be left with his own thoughts – about the marriage, about how he was feeling, about his needs.
He started working out more, going to the gym.
He started spending more time on social media, scrolling LinkedIn. He even found himself connecting with a few women on there, though obviously not looking to do anything wrong or immoral, they just seemed to have interesting careers - and his career was giving him life.
Before he knew it, years had passed by…
‘Why won’t my partner change?’ The most common pitfall I see career-driven professionals making in their marriage and romantic relationship.
My own behavior as a woman who spent much of her adult life biting her tongue and squashing down her feelings at fear of causing drama, being too much, or upsetting her partner testifies to this.
I know that when I have felt upset, or hurt, or betrayed, or sensed any disconnect with my partner, and I have squashed it down because I dread revealing it to them, or I am simply too busy or need to rush to work, or respond to emails, or just want to have a peaceful night, and so have squashed it down…
How to level up your relationship and become Successfully in Love® in 90 days
...you know you’re not feeling 100% sure about your relationship and it’s frustrating you. In fact, it’s giving you anxiety. And you’re not sure that you can keep avoiding the issue and burying yourself into your work because…well, when you’re not able to sleep at night, blinking into the dark at 3am wondering ‘what do I do?’ it’s clearly not something you can ignore.
You need to know this about love
I am so grateful, so unspeakably grateful, that I never gave up on creating the healthy, loving, secure relationship that I know now I deserve.
I am so grateful that I fought for more.
That even when things felt dark, and my future felt so bleak…
…alone, blinking into the dark of our apartment, fighting back tears at midnight, unable to sleep…
…exhausted from endless marriage counseling, processing with my therapist, and feeling afraid of my future…
…feeling alone, unsupported, and scared…
…in my 30s, wanting a family, wanting stability, wanting to finally feel true love and live a full life…
I’m so grateful that I fought for more.
Why are you so lonely, even though you're in a relationship...maybe even married?
Plenty of people simply marry the wrong person.
There is such a thing as marrying the wrong person.
And the worst thing is, you may only find this out AFTER many years have passed.
Typically after the honeymoon has worn off.
The hormones have calmed down.
The oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, and all the delicious cocktail of love-inducing feelings that we get submerged into when we fall in love…have worn off.
What are you going to do?
You do not have as much time as you want.
The morbid reality of this is that we waste so much of our lives faffing about.
Achieving very little.
Complaining about things.
Offloading to our friends, rather than finding tangible solutions
Scrolling on instagram, or LinkedIn, procrastinating…rather than looking inside to see how we’re really feeling
Burying our heads in the sand, numbing out, avoiding things…drinking that extra glass of wine, watching that Netflix show rather than digging deep into WHY we’re numbing out
How can I end the feeling of uncertainty and indecision in my relationship?
One of the hardest things we can experience in a relationship is the feeling of uncertainty and indecision. When we feel stuck in a state of limbo, unable to move forward and relax into the relationship, or unable to exit and start our life anew, we can feel trapped.
It can feel exhausting, in fact.
Being in this liminal space between wanting to stay, loving them, and making it work…but also feeling unsupported, alone, and afraid of your future together…
Feeling like you have to walk around on eggshells a fair amount of the time…
Feeling like there is something wrong with you, maybe you’re fault finding, nit picking, seeing flaws where there shouldn't be any…
Or maybe you’re actually right to be feeling anxious and nervous, maybe there are actually red flags going on…
Maybe you should stay and double down…maybe you should go and find an easier relationship…
…is incredibly hard.
Why Matchmaking alone won’t work for you. Or, why taking short-cuts with your love life is an awful idea.
One of the most depressing things that I hear on a nearly weekly basis is when potential clients tell me that they’d rather invest into a Matchmaker than work with a coach.
Second most depressing thing, is when people ask me when I’ll start doing my own matchmaking service. Heck, it’s the same thing as coaching, right?
Absolutely not.
In fact, it’s in wild opposition to coaching.
Why do Executives need Relationship Coaching?
It’s the week of my Live Masterclass (this Thursday, 5.30pm GMT) and we still have a handful of places left - so sign up here
I’ll be walking you through the fundamentals of my science-based 3 phase process (that I use to teach CEOs, Executives, Hollywood Film Directors, Philanthropists, and HNWIs) on how to become a Master at your personal relationships in a proven, systematic, and structured way.
I’m a nerd at heart and passionate about getting clients results - so trust me on this when I say, you will regret missing it. I’m also bored of the watered down, superficial, nonsensical advice we get in society about relationships, so you can expect something MUCH more robust in this one hour training.
“It’ll just work out, right?” Wrong: Why you’re going to fail if you’re just waiting for things to ‘work out’ for you.
Ask anyone out there what the most important things in their life are, and they’re likely going to tell you it’s their wife/husband and kids. If they’re single, ask them what they want most in life, and they’re likely going to tell you that it’s finding their life partner.
Most people, honestly most people on this planet, including virtually everyone I speak to, admit that they spend their lives yearning for that soulmate connection. That type of deep seated, genuine, nourishing love where you feel safe with your partner, you feel free to be yourself, and free to relax knowing that you’ve found them.
10 Ways to Create Healthy Love
It’s the 15th January 2024, and that means it’s my birthday.
And as I write this, I already know that this year feels very different to my last.
Something feels quite, quite different.
Aside from the fact that many things in my life have changed in the past 12 months, there’s a more profound change I feel.
What to do if you’re feeling alone this Christmas? 5 ways to feel better
Christmas is meant to be a time filled with festivities, love, and lots of people around you. Whether it’s family, friends, colleagues at work parties or cosying up with your partner. But for many of you, this just isn’t the case.
Some of you are physically isolated, either unable to be with loved ones, or don’t have loved ones to spend it with. Some of you are with loved ones, but feel alone - despite all the Hallmark merriment outside. And I don’t know what is worse, really. I’ve spent Christmassess feeling both.
It can be a time of intense pressure and isolation, intermingled into a strange blur of feelings.
“It’s lonely at the top.” 5 reasons why finding and keeping a life partner is that much harder for executives and entrepreneurs - and what to do. Part 1.
I still remember crying my eyes out, gulping down sobs of despair on the couch of my Kensington apartment, one sunny Saturday afternoon in June a few years back. I’d been working hard all week and had the whole weekend ahead of me, but felt exhausted, disheartened, and lost.
I was over it.
What are Some of the Best Relationship Books? Here’s 6 to Consider
In what ways are we making our partner feel loved, even as we balance the demands of work and our own needs? When we are seeking clarity on life’s tough decisions, we can, and should, turn to professionals to help guide us, but we should also expand our mind by picking up a good book
Relationship issues: Should I stay or should I go?
One of the most challenging yet profound areas for practising embodied integrity is in our relationships. Being able to discern exactly what is true for you, and who or what is in alignment with you, is likely one of the best muscles we can train.