Blog Posts

Why have we lost the spark in bed? How you’ve lost intimacy with your partner.
Katarina Polonska Katarina Polonska

Why have we lost the spark in bed? How you’ve lost intimacy with your partner.

Ever found yourself just going through the motions in bed with your partner - ?


No eye contact. 

No closeness.

No spark.

More two people rubbing their bits together. 


And…it ends as quickly as it starts.


Before you know it, you’re both back on your phones. 


NOT.

Well, let me tell you that first of all - this is no way to live. 

And second of all, the reason you’re having such a terrible intimate life is because you and your partner no no longer feel emotionally safe with each other.

Yes, you might still “function” as a couple - raising kids, running a household, showing up to barbeques and dinner parties, bla bla bla - but deep down, the emotional safety is gone.

The real intimacy is dead, basically.

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Why are you developing feelings for your friend?
Katarina Polonska Katarina Polonska

Why are you developing feelings for your friend?

Ever found yourself being drawn to someone other than your partner, who isn’t your normal type, and you don’t actually think you’d ever necessarily leave them for…

…but somehow you’re pulled to them, without really understanding why?

This is likely because your needs aren’t getting met inside your current relationship, and on some level, you likely don’t actually believe that they ever WILL get met in the current relationship.

Let me explain:

If you are one of those folks who didn’t experience much emotional validation growing up from your parents (meaning you told them something or asked them for something and they would listen to you and respect you for it), you might be carrying a belief, deep down inside of you, that you’re needs will never really get met by other people.

You might have learned to think that people don’t really care about what you need, or it isn’t safe to ask them for things, or that even if you do ask them for thing, they won’t hear you or really do anything about it.

Because that was your childhood experience.

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Love your work but barely see your wife and kids? Then this is for you.
Katarina Polonska Katarina Polonska

Love your work but barely see your wife and kids? Then this is for you.

Are you a guy who LOVES his work and happily does 12+ hour days, and often disappears into your emails and deals after dinner?

But it’s okay because your wife doesn’t mind (she’s on the couch scrolling anyway) and you’re gunning for the big $$$ to bring home?

Well, you might want to take a closer look at your marriage before you declare everything to be fine and slink back to your office.

Because I am telling you now, I have yet to meet a woman who can honestly say she is happy with her husband working 12+ hour days daily long term.

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How are you spending the second half of your life?
Katarina Polonska Katarina Polonska

How are you spending the second half of your life?

If your partner rarely looks up when you come home, scrolling through Instagram on their phone on the couch, and you find yourself sitting in silence most evenings doing ‘your own thing’...

…So more often than not, your evenings are spent doing more work emails because it’s easier than sitting with the ache of feeling unseen…

Then you've got to start getting really honest with yourself about what your future looks like and what the heck you’re going to do about it.

Specifically, is this what you want the second half of your life to look like - and if not, what DO you want it to look like?

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Feeling stuck? You just need to go inward.
Katarina Polonska Katarina Polonska

Feeling stuck? You just need to go inward.

My husband and I had a disagreement last week.

He was feeling sick with the flu (which I had had a few days prior) and it was bad. He had blocked sinuses, was coughing up his lungs every few minutes, and feeling exhausted.

All around awfulness and a lot of fatigue.

He told me that he was feeling bad and that he had to be careful for it not to get worse, because he had a history of sicknesses snowballing into worse symptoms when they dragged on.

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How do some people seem to have it all? Why you likely have an upper limit problem.
Katarina Polonska Katarina Polonska

How do some people seem to have it all? Why you likely have an upper limit problem.

Ever wondered why it seems like some folks can go on to make their millions with relative ease, have a delicious love-filled marriage, and look like a beacon of excellent health…

…whilst you seem to be tired, frustrated, and keep hitting a plateau? Like you can’t seem to break through to the next level?

Well, I’m willing to bet you have an internal block problem :)

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"Why am I so unhappy?" Whether it's your marriage or your career, it's likely not why you think.
Katarina Polonska Katarina Polonska

"Why am I so unhappy?" Whether it's your marriage or your career, it's likely not why you think.

When you feel a bit unfulfilled with your marriage, your career, or both - the reason is often that you’re not getting what you really NEED in those parts of your life.

And that’s because you don’t KNOW what you really need, because you’re disconnected from your needs. You’ve ignored them for years most likely.

It’s a very common thing for successful, ambitious professionals to do.

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Arguing a lot? It's not why you think.
Katarina Polonska Katarina Polonska

Arguing a lot? It's not why you think.

When you find yourself in a seemingly endless loop of arguing with your partner, where every conversation seems to end in tension and tears, it might SEEM like you have a communication problem.

But you don’t ;)

Logically, yes, you are struggling to communicate.

But thing is, studying communication best practices like active listening and embarking on learning about ‘love languages’ is NOT going to help you.

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Career going well, but marriage almost over? Here's a reason why.
Katarina Polonska Katarina Polonska

Career going well, but marriage almost over? Here's a reason why.

You’ve been incredibly successful in your career: you’ve got a beautiful home, car, wealth and luxuries. But your marriage feels like it’s basically over.

Evenings are spent sitting on the couch across from each other scrolling on social media.

You feel ignored, like you don’t matter, like they don’t care anymore.

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Why are you feeling so overwhelmed, burned out, and disconnected?
Katarina Polonska Katarina Polonska

Why are you feeling so overwhelmed, burned out, and disconnected?

Ambitious professionals create SO much of their own suffering.

It's not usually intentional - it's just how they're wired from a young age based on messages they received from parents and other authority figures.

Feeling overwhelmed, burned out, and disconnected from spouse and family, is often caused by an over-drive to achieve which is caused by deep-seated feelings of never being "good enough".

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How are you changing your status quo this 2025?
Katarina Polonska Katarina Polonska

How are you changing your status quo this 2025?

With 2025 here, and now that you’re rested and at least somewhat revived after the busy-ness of 2024…

Are you feeling ready and antsy to change your last year’s pattern of grinding away each day, staying stuck in one room behind your laptop, on back to back Zoom calls and guzzling coffee, coffee, coffee, water, water…

….and then wine, wine, wine?

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Why don't I feel Christmassy? Ambitious professionals, this one is for you.
Katarina Polonska Katarina Polonska

Why don't I feel Christmassy? Ambitious professionals, this one is for you.

Are you finding Christmas shopping and being surrounded by all that Christmas cheer quite…confusing?

Because YOU’RE not feeling festive - in fact, you’re actually feeling a bit overwhelmed, exhausted, and lonely throughout it all…?

And your partner seems to be elsewhere entirely, whilst you’re feeling emotionally neglected and tired from having to do it all? Powerless to change it?

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Ever felt a bit resentful of your partner...? Then this one's for you.
Katarina Polonska Katarina Polonska

Ever felt a bit resentful of your partner...? Then this one's for you.

Ever felt a bit resentful of your partner?

Like you’ve worked extremely hard all year and now you’re feeling burned out and emotionally neglected in the run up to Christmas because your partner hasn’t worked HALF as hard as you…

…and don’t seem to get how you’re feeling or what you need?

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Accepting yourself makes you more confident in your relationship
Katarina Polonska Katarina Polonska

Accepting yourself makes you more confident in your relationship

A female client who’s the ambitious breadwinner in her marriage asked me a question yesterday that made me wince. “Should I just suck it up, be more feminine and rub my husband’s ego to keep the peace and make him happy?”. Yikes!


I told her: “No. Doing that is going to just lead you to abandon yourself even further, trying to fit the mold of what you think you need to be in this relationship. You'll become resentful, and eventually explode, have a nervous breakdown, or leave him for someone that you can actually relax and be yourself with".


What DOES work is:

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What is being met - your wants or needs?
Katarina Polonska Katarina Polonska

What is being met - your wants or needs?

Are you fantasizing over someone who isn’t your long-term romantic partner? I see this a LOT and it DOESN'T necessarily mean that your relationship is doomed.


What it DOES mean, is that your needs aren’t getting met fully in your relationship. So don't panic, freak out, or ignore what you're feeling. Instead: get curious. What it is about this new person that you're craving? What NEEDS do you believe will get met through them?

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How internal triggers turn into arguments
Katarina Polonska Katarina Polonska

How internal triggers turn into arguments

The fact you’re arguing a lot DOESN'T mean that things can’t be ironed out. Unless the arguments you’re having are about fundamental clashes of values - like, infidelity, religion etc.

90% of the time, the reason you’re stuck in a cycle of arguments is because you’re carrying around a ton of internal triggers that are making you spiral into conflict …when you don’t actually need to.

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Why trusting your gut instinct about your relationship is a bad idea.
Katarina Polonska Katarina Polonska

Why trusting your gut instinct about your relationship is a bad idea.

Have you ever struggled to tap into your gut instinct about what to do with your relationship when you’ve felt pangs of uncertainty about your future with your partner (especially on the cusp of the new year)?

And you’ve struggled to know what is your gut instinct, and what is…fear?

Here's the thing:

The mainstream idea that you can and should always trust your gut is very problematic and reductive. Most people’s gut instinct is utterly riddled with fear, old outdated childhood messages, and past pains that totally shroud it.

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