Are you a guy who LOVES his work and happily does 12+ hour days, and often disappears into your emails and deals after dinner?

But it’s okay because your wife doesn’t mind (she’s on the couch scrolling anyway) and you’re gunning for the big $$$ to bring home?

Well, you might want to take a closer look at your marriage before you declare everything to be fine and slink back to your office.

Because I am telling you now, I have yet to meet a woman who can honestly say she is happy with her husband working 12+ hour days daily long term.

If your partner rarely looks up when you come home, scrolling through Instagram on their phone on the couch, and you find yourself sitting in silence most evenings doing ‘your own thing’...

…So more often than not, your evenings are spent doing more work emails because it’s easier than sitting with the ache of feeling unseen…

Then you've got to start getting really honest with yourself about what your future looks like and what the heck you’re going to do about it.

Specifically, is this what you want the second half of your life to look like - and if not, what DO you want it to look like?

First of all - I get it.

You want to break to that next level.

The next promotion.

The next income bracket.

A new client of mine asked me recently, how it is that I’m a relationship coach but can also help him with increasing his income - and helping him figure out what’s next in his career?

In fact, I know that what I will help him with will improve his overall life outcomes - including his health, too.

Here’s why.

My husband and I had a disagreement last week.

He was feeling sick with the flu (which I had had a few days prior) and it was bad. He had blocked sinuses, was coughing up his lungs every few minutes, and feeling exhausted.

All around awfulness and a lot of fatigue.

He told me that he was feeling bad and that he had to be careful for it not to get worse, because he had a history of sicknesses snowballing into worse symptoms when they dragged on.

Ever wondered why it seems like some folks can go on to make their millions with relative ease, have a delicious love-filled marriage, and look like a beacon of excellent health…

…whilst you seem to be tired, frustrated, and keep hitting a plateau? Like you can’t seem to break through to the next level?

Well, I’m willing to bet you have an internal block problem :)

When you feel a bit unfulfilled with your marriage, your career, or both - the reason is often that you’re not getting what you really NEED in those parts of your life.

And that’s because you don’t KNOW what you really need, because you’re disconnected from your needs. You’ve ignored them for years most likely.

It’s a very common thing for successful, ambitious professionals to do.

When you find yourself in a seemingly endless loop of arguing with your partner, where every conversation seems to end in tension and tears, it might SEEM like you have a communication problem.

But you don’t ;)

Logically, yes, you are struggling to communicate.

But thing is, studying communication best practices like active listening and embarking on learning about ‘love languages’ is NOT going to help you.

You’ve been incredibly successful in your career: you’ve got a beautiful home, car, wealth and luxuries. But your marriage feels like it’s basically over.

Evenings are spent sitting on the couch across from each other scrolling on social media.

You feel ignored, like you don’t matter, like they don’t care anymore.

When you feel like everyone relies on you, but you can’t lean on anyone

And you’re tired, emotionally drained, and feeling misunderstood because it’s lonely at the top…

The REASON why you feel this way is because you have a hidden fear of failure.

Ambitious professionals create SO much of their own suffering.

It's not usually intentional - it's just how they're wired from a young age based on messages they received from parents and other authority figures.

Feeling overwhelmed, burned out, and disconnected from spouse and family, is often caused by an over-drive to achieve which is caused by deep-seated feelings of never being "good enough".

With 2025 here, and now that you’re rested and at least somewhat revived after the busy-ness of 2024…

Are you feeling ready and antsy to change your last year’s pattern of grinding away each day, staying stuck in one room behind your laptop, on back to back Zoom calls and guzzling coffee, coffee, coffee, water, water…

….and then wine, wine, wine?

Are you finding Christmas shopping and being surrounded by all that Christmas cheer quite…confusing?

Because YOU’RE not feeling festive - in fact, you’re actually feeling a bit overwhelmed, exhausted, and lonely throughout it all…?

And your partner seems to be elsewhere entirely, whilst you’re feeling emotionally neglected and tired from having to do it all? Powerless to change it?

Ever felt a bit resentful of your partner?

Like you’ve worked extremely hard all year and now you’re feeling burned out and emotionally neglected in the run up to Christmas because your partner hasn’t worked HALF as hard as you…

…and don’t seem to get how you’re feeling or what you need?

A female client who’s the ambitious breadwinner in her marriage asked me a question yesterday that made me wince. “Should I just suck it up, be more feminine and rub my husband’s ego to keep the peace and make him happy?”. Yikes!


I told her: “No. Doing that is going to just lead you to abandon yourself even further, trying to fit the mold of what you think you need to be in this relationship. You'll become resentful, and eventually explode, have a nervous breakdown, or leave him for someone that you can actually relax and be yourself with".


What DOES work is:

Are you fantasizing over someone who isn’t your long-term romantic partner? I see this a LOT and it DOESN'T necessarily mean that your relationship is doomed.


What it DOES mean, is that your needs aren’t getting met fully in your relationship. So don't panic, freak out, or ignore what you're feeling. Instead: get curious. What it is about this new person that you're craving? What NEEDS do you believe will get met through them?

The fact you’re arguing a lot DOESN'T mean that things can’t be ironed out. Unless the arguments you’re having are about fundamental clashes of values - like, infidelity, religion etc.

90% of the time, the reason you’re stuck in a cycle of arguments is because you’re carrying around a ton of internal triggers that are making you spiral into conflict …when you don’t actually need to.

Have you ever struggled to tap into your gut instinct about what to do with your relationship when you’ve felt pangs of uncertainty about your future with your partner (especially on the cusp of the new year)?

And you’ve struggled to know what is your gut instinct, and what is…fear?

Here's the thing:

The mainstream idea that you can and should always trust your gut is very problematic and reductive. Most people’s gut instinct is utterly riddled with fear, old outdated childhood messages, and past pains that totally shroud it.

If your partner is doing (or not doing) something that bothers you and you really wish would change, you might worry that you're asking for too much, or that you two are fundamentally incompatible.

But chances are good that you're NOT asking for too much, and this thing that's bothering you isn't really a huge marker of incompatibility.

What's more likely true is that deep down, you don't feel worthy of this thing that you want from your partner.

In my experience, the most accomplished of women can fall into a total state of internal collapse when it comes to conflict with their partners. (I can relate to this all too well - both with myself, and with endless female clients that I support).

It isn’t necessarily because your partner is the wrong man for you, though, or that you are fundamentally incompatible, or doomed together. Nor does it mean that your future is bleak and you cannot trust them in it.