Blog Posts
Why are you developing feelings for your friend?
Ever found yourself being drawn to someone other than your partner, who isn’t your normal type, and you don’t actually think you’d ever necessarily leave them for…
…but somehow you’re pulled to them, without really understanding why?
This is likely because your needs aren’t getting met inside your current relationship, and on some level, you likely don’t actually believe that they ever WILL get met in the current relationship.
Let me explain:
If you are one of those folks who didn’t experience much emotional validation growing up from your parents (meaning you told them something or asked them for something and they would listen to you and respect you for it), you might be carrying a belief, deep down inside of you, that you’re needs will never really get met by other people.
You might have learned to think that people don’t really care about what you need, or it isn’t safe to ask them for things, or that even if you do ask them for thing, they won’t hear you or really do anything about it.
Because that was your childhood experience.
I’m lonely – what can I do? Why starting with ourselves is the first step.
If we have a romantic partner, we try to plan date nights. We try to leave our work in the (home) office and avoid excessive work travel. We try to splash out on fancy holidays and connect over dinner with talk about our days. Yet the date nights feel too far and few between. Work always bleeds into longer hours than we’d like. Our fancy holidays fly by in a blur and dinners feel short, spent catching up on telling each other about our days. Issues get put on the back burner, and connecting deeply feels like a ridiculous and unobtainable utopia.