Ever wondered how you can have WEEKS of feeling peaceful and happy with your partner, before you hit a crashing low with (yet ANOTHER) argument?  And it starts to feel like a scary cycle of things being good for a bit and then bad again? And you’re starting to worry about what the future holds, because you can’t live like this in a constant state of volatility, always on edge?

If so, then the reason you’re feeling like you’re stuck on a rollercoaster of ups and downs isn’t because you are necessarily incompatible with your partner.

The fact you’re arguing a lot DOESN'T mean that things can’t be ironed out. Unless the arguments you’re having are about fundamental clashes of values - like, infidelity, religion etc.

90% of the time, the reason you’re stuck in a cycle of arguments is because you’re carrying around a ton of internal triggers that are making you spiral into conflict …when you don’t actually need to.

Most people have tons of little past wounds inside of them - some bigger than others. These past wounds come from childhood and point to needs of yours that never got met by your parents.

So perhaps your parents struggled to give you attention because they were busy, or stressed out. As a kid, you felt pain in these moments, but since you weren’t fully able to process that as a kid, that pain stayed stuck inside of you. And it’s still there, now, as an adult.

So you’re walking around with a ton of old pain that is sensitive to the touch - and when your partner does or says something that grazes that scar, you wince in pain and lash out.

Hello, trigger!

The problem, then, isn’t so much what your partner is doing. Unless they're violating your boundaries like being physically abusive, or cheating on you, then the reason you feel so triggered is more than likely one of those little wounds getting poked.

So the solution for you lies in HEALING that wound, rather than coming at your partner to make them stop poking it. It’s MUCH simpler to do that yourself, rather than trying to get your partner to change.

One path is within your control, one is not. Which is precisely why marital counselling isn’t helpful if you keep arguing.

A marital counselor will try to mediate your conversation and have partner take turns speaking, which is nice and helps create understanding, but it doesn't actually HEAL the wound. And when you're triggered, all these turn-taking practices will fly out the window (+ anything else the counselor said - ask me how I know).

To have less arguments, you need less triggers.

And to have less triggers, you have to heal your old wounds.

Which is precisely what I help with!

Over 90 days, I show you how to identify what wounds are flaring up for you, and how to clear those out - 100%. This will allow you to see the relationship more clearly, trust its compatibility, and work towards getting your needs met in a way that feels secure, confident, and happy

If this resonates with you, I invite you to explore more about healing here.