Small pivots to create success - for yourself, your life, and your relationships - in just 30 minutes.
Behave as if the first hour of your day sets the rest of the day up for you. Its contents determine the contents of the next 24 hours.
For me, this looks like starting each day with 3 things:
Subconscious mind reprogramming. I focus on healing my core wounds and embodying my new, fully healed, successfully in love way of being each morning. My clients do the same. We use subconscious mind hacks and ultra rapid techniques to achieve this in as little as 10-15 minutes a day.
Gratitude practices and embodying what I am excited for. Feeling that excitement.
Exercise and moving my body, breathing fresh air, and expelling any tension left over from the day before. I am blessed to live a stone's throw away from the beach, and to be smelling that sweet Mediterranean summer air these mornings. I look forward to this every day.
If you substitute exercise for simple movement, this doesn't have to take more than 30 minutes. My goal is to get to a point where I can dedicate a full hour to this each day, if not two - but I’m not quite there yet. It’s coming! For my clients, I reassure them that 15 minutes a day, minus the movement, is sufficient to start creating new neural pathways in as fast as 3 months.
Be as authentic as possible every single day.
This doesn’t mean be authentically negative, or unhappy, or miserable. This doesn’t mean forcing yourself to be overly happy or positive, either.
This simply means, tap into your higher self, your core self, your inner self, the self behind the core wounds, negative beliefs, social conditioning, pressures, and so on, and channel their energy every single day. As best as you can. This still allows for sadness, grief, and the natural ebb and flow of human emotion - those are undeniable facts. But it creates spaciousness, room for these emotions to flow, so that you can process them quickly and efficiently, and allow for any lessons, learnings, and shifts to happen after you have. It is when you repress who you authentically are, stifle them, and hide from yourself (as most people do) that you find yourself suffering.
What does this mean for your love life? It means that you are connecting to who you really are, at your core, and celebrating them. From that place, you are so much more likely to attract (easily and effortlessly) your own love of your life - because they will be able to feel you faster and deeper than if you were to put on a performance and hide who you really are.
Unfortunately, this is what most people do.
Watch how you speak to yourself.
This is a tricky one but crucial. Your subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between what is real, and what is imagined. It cannot tell the difference, either, between what you mean jokingly and what you mean seriously. It just listens. And it obeys. So if you tell yourself that you cannot ‘afford’ something - then you are telling yourself that you are not worthy of having something, and that it is impossible for you to have it. If you tell yourself that you are a failure, you have done wrong, and you are bad, then you are going to become that too. It really is that simple, and yet also that hard, since most of us are walking around in a trance-like state repeating the words of our parents, caregivers, and societal conditioning, rather than our own choices. That voice that criticises you or tells you that you shouldn’t have or do something is very likely not actually your voice. Listen to it, identify where it comes from, and drop down into that of your authentic self - and see what they have to say about it. The likelihood is, your authentic self would tell you that you do deserve it, you can afford it, you are worthy to pursue it, and safe to have it. Listen to that voice and amplify it, to have your whole life transform for the better. Radically, quickly, and effortlessly.
For your love life, this means that you deserve love, you are worthy of love, and you can have love. It means that you are also worthy of getting the help you need to find that love, because the reality is, modern day society is a challenging place for creating genuinely healthy relationships, and even the best of us need a teacher who has done the work and trained in it, to guide us. You deserve the help you need.
Live from the heart.
Drop your point of awareness from your head and egoic mind, down into your heart. Let it open up and flow, so that you feel the feelings of love that you so desperately seek when you are trapped up in the intellect.
Go outside, feel the earth under your feet, dip your toes into the water, watch the sun rise, soak in the rays of the moon on a clear night, feel the pulsating waves of love emanating from your body when you share the room with a loved one, love others, love people, love animals, love the earth.
Love the warmth and safety of love. Love the warmth and safety of the earth. Devote your life to living with the most love that you can. Your life is precious, your life is short, your life is to be loved.
You deserve love, you are worthy of love, and you can have love.
Have guides and teachers to learn from.
Your egoic mind will tell you that you know it all, that you can teach yourself.
This is not the way that we grow strong or get wise, though.
We learn from each other, and we grow in relationships.
Of course, it is doable to try to learn alone from books, the internet, and whatever other resources you can find, but that learning is always going to be superficial and you will always struggle to hold yourself fully accountable- because you cannot know what you do not know.
It will also likely take you years. Decades. And you will always question the result. Is this as good as it can get?
It is from community, from relational practise, from people who have dedicated their lives to certain crafts that you truly grow from.
They have learned (from their own teachers) so that you do not have to do this alone. Do not.
It is a needlessly solitary and isolating way to achieve one of the greatest things available to us - to grow, to evolve, to learn.
I used to think I could do it alone, but it is my relationship teachers that transformed everything for me - and taught me to transform things for myself. Now, I teach others. This is my own life’s work because there is nothing more important in our lives than to find healthy, secure love.
Raise your standards for life.
Just because the people around you are unhappy, doesn’t mean that you should be.
Just because the people around you don’t have much love in their lives, are unhappily married, or single, or struggling financially, or stuck in their golden handcuffs, or working 16 hour days, doesn’t mean that you have to.
Elevate your standards for your life. You have one shot. And you CAN have everything that you have ever wished for (from your authentic heart, not from your ego) when you decide that you will have it.
You CAN have that wonderful, nourishing, soul enriching relationship. You CAN be happy. You CAN have that supportive, devoted, committed partner.
It doesn’t have to be that hard. It is more available to you than you think. And you can have it. You just have to decide, raise your standards, and follow the path to achieving it.
9 times out of 10, that’s going to look like deepening your relationship to yourself so that you may deepen your relationships to others, and find true fulfilment.
What is holding you back?
Move more.
Exercise daily, move often. Stand at your desk, shake off your stress, go for that walk and move. Dance with others, move with others, make love, sing, shake, and emit all of that love inside of you as its own powerful life force. It is your reason for being.
Connect with nature.
Mother nature is the most healing force of all, and mother nature is love. YOU are nature and YOU are love. You are made of this stuff. To deny yourself love is to deny your nature. It is to live a life half lived. It is to quietly suffocate yourself and to imprison yourself into a half existence, one of loneliness and denial. You are worthy of love because you are love, and when you connect to nature, you realise that. Go outside. Turn your head towards the sun and bask in her rays. See the leaves, the trees, the water, and their infinite abundance, their ever present love, richness, and peace. You are born to love. You are born to be abundant. You are born to feel cocooned in that delicious place of love and safety.
For everyone that has ever grieved you, hurt you, upset you, or been cruel to you - thank them.
They are the essence of why you have grown so fast. Had you not had these hardships, you would not have grown. Thank your exes, your ex wife, your ex fiance, your past lovers, your past pains, Do not let yourself be hardened by your past, because that only hurts you. Forgive others for what they did (for they are hurting too), and thank them for the growth that they inspired in you, and the healing that you have had to do to bring you to greater awareness, maturity, and wisdom. This is a hard lesson, I know, and at the same time, it can transform you for the better.
Now, with that pain, what do you want to do with it? Will you stay forever small and hardened by it, or will you rise again and give yourself what you deserve?
Be aware of your desire to deny yourself.
We all have an ego and that ego is the main voice that you listen to day in and day out. That ego isn’t the healthiest voice, though. It’s rarely even yours. It’ll be a combination of your past shames, wounds, traumas, childhood programming, societal conditioning, cultural messages, religious messages, your parental messages, your worries, your fears, and so on. When it tells you that you cannot do something, shouldn’t have something, shouldn’t spend money on something, shouldn’t give yourself something, shouldn’t shouldn’t shouldnt - watch it.
Any ‘should’ or ‘must’ that you impose upon yourself deserves questioning. According to whom? Why? Is that true?
Question your self-denial, your self-erasure, your self-sabotage.
Drop down beneath it, and give yourself what it is that you really yearn for.
And that means dropping beneath the egoic yearning too.
What is it that you are craving beneath the craving, and what is the most healthy and authentic way to get that for yourself?
Forgive regularly.
Forgive yourself, forgive others. Forgiveness really is the secret sauce to happiness. Forgiving yourself for your flaws, your faults, your weaknesses, and forgiving others for any pain that they have caused you, is crucial if you want to evolve, flourish, and live a life of love.
Forgive yourself for not seeking help until now, and forgive yourself for any doubts and reservations you may have. Forgive yourself for not knowing more, and forgive yourself for needing help.
We all do.
As you forgive yourself, what do you now realise that you deserve?
Because you deserve it all, and you can have it all. When you accept this truth, everything changes for you.
What other pivots are there that I may have missed? What do you do to keep your day a success?
If you would like to have my help in finding your life partner, and becoming successfully in love, DM me ‘Behavioral Science’ and I will be glad to share more about my program, the science-based and proven Successfully in Love ® method.
