Why are you feeling so overwhelmed, burned out, and disconnected?

14 Jan

Ambitious professionals create SO much of their own suffering.

It's not usually intentional - it's just how they're wired from a young age based on messages they received from parents and other authority figures.

Feeling overwhelmed, burned out, and disconnected from spouse and family, is often caused by an over-drive to achieve which is caused by deep-seated feelings of never being "good enough".

Or, in some cases feeling “unworthy”.

Now - disclaimer, before I go on.

This does NOT mean everyone who is an ambitious professional has had a ‘terrible childhood’ with ‘bad parents’.

Far from it.

In fact, most of the folks I work with who deep down feel unworthy, or not good enough, will say that they have the most doting and devoted parents.

So would I - my parents are great!

Unfortunately, it’s rarely that simple.

The reality is, from the ages of 0-8, our brains are spongy and vulnerable, and we take in everything we see around us and make it about us.

It’s a natural ego-centricism children have.

And all it takes is some emotion and repetition to wire the brain to be a certain way.

This is how children make sense of the world.

So something your caregivers did, on repeat, that felt a bit emotionally charged, will wire your brain to create patterns of behavior that you experience later in life.

It’s like these small (and big) experiences ‘shape’ who you become without you even realising it, because you’re a tiny child. And your brain is forming.

And of course, your caregivers don’t realise it, because they’re just doing their best to be good caregivers.

Yet so often, the core message from that experience that you will interpret as a little child, that most ambitious professionals will interpret, as little ones - is that they are not good enough. Or they are unworthy.

And so, of course, later in life, if you don't examine this and challenge it, and you feel deep down that you’re not good enough or you’re unworthy, you’re very likely going to do your damndest in life to prove otherwise.

Which means:

Working hard
Climbing the ladder
Being the best

Because deep down, if you don’t do all these things, you’re terrified that someone will find out what you really fear…

That you aren’t actually enough.

Just as you are.

I can relate to all of this - this was me throughout my whole life, for decades.

And 15 years of therapy wasn’t enough to help me.

In fact, therapy just kept me stuck in the hamster wheel of feeling ‘broken’ and therefore even more ‘not enough’ because I never got anywhere.

I see this with clients, too - they come to me after spending years in therapy not seeing any progress.

Years in marriage counseling, getting nowhere.

Years reading books on love languages, and communication, finding that nothing is really working.

Because whilst it's great to learn this stuff intellectually - the stuff you need to change is WAY deeper than something you can read in a book or talk about in an hour session.

What DOES work, instead, is understanding how to rewire your brain.

Which boils down to:

Emotion + repetition

On a subconscious level - where the neural pathways live.

This is actually wonderfully simple once you know how to do it.

And something I teach all my clients to do with themselves.

To help them overcome their core programing of feeling unworthy and not enough.

Which ultimately helps them see their reality more clearly, feel more secure in themselves, and gives them peace, inner freedom, and happiness.

And MUCH better relationships, of course - because when you feel worthy, you’re going to show up so much healthier and more loving in your relationship. You’ll be a better partner, too.

It’ll also mean you can go on to achieve your goals and build your wealth in a healthy, grounded, mature way, rather than an insecure, wounded way - which is far more sustainable.

If you want to do this for yourself, I can help you in my 90 day program.

In this program, I help you understand what your core wiring is and get clarity on how it is getting you in your own way.

I then help you rewire your brain so that you no longer get held back by it - giving you the tools and techniques that you need to be able to master your own subconscious, for now and for the future.

I also help you get clarity on where you want to go in life and relationship - so that you can wire your brain to get you there, faster. We do this by getting your clarity on your needs and understanding what it is that you desire, deep down, to be happy long term. This also gives you self-trust to feel fully secure in yourself.

I then teach you science backed solutions to get these needs met, as well as how to build more intimacy with your partner, communicate to them, put down new boundaries, and build a whole new level of self-trust in navigating life’s challenges than you’ve ever known before.

If this resonates with you and you want to learn more, I have a wealth of free resources. Dive into my Relationships Reignited system, or watch my free Successfully in Love Method Masterclass 20 minute video to get started.