Katarina Polonska Coaching

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It's lonely at the top: What to do when it feels like everyone relies on you, but you can’t lean on anyone

When you feel like everyone relies on you, but you can’t lean on anyone

And you’re tired, emotionally drained, and feeling misunderstood because it’s lonely at the top…

The REASON why you feel this way is because you have a hidden fear of failure.

And you’re afraid to be truly vulnerable with others.

Which makes sense, because if you’re the responsible one carrying the weight of everything and everyone on your shoulders..

As primary breadwinner, business leader at work, taking care of the children, taking care of your elderly parents…

Of course you’re going to feel like you can’t be vulnerable.

Nor fail.

Yet the horrible irony here is that the more you fear failure and vulnerability…

…the more you cocoon yourself in high demands and expectations of yourself that become terrifying to break free from.

Because who are you if you aren’t the responsible, ambitious, strong one?

You will have likely been this way from childhood.

Let me explain.

Growing up, you may have learned from your parents that love and approval came with conditions.

Maybe your parents wanted the best from you but through no fault of their own…

Were critical, controlling, or emotionally distant—they had their own problems to deal with, their own careers, and their own drama.

This left you to equate connection with feeling alone, pressure, shame, or even rejection.

It became your ‘norm’ as a child.

So, you adapted.

You focused on what you could control: results. You became excellent at achievement, independence, and composure.

Because that’s what got you the validation, love, and approval you craved.

The problem is, this external way of operating leaves you feeling disconnected from yourself (because you are always chasing external validation).

And also puts immense pressure on you to always be solving problems, and taking care of things.

Your fear, deep down, is that if you somehow STOP doing these things

You will somehow have FAILED

And this failure is the ultimate feeling of rejection:

You are unworthy and you are unlovable. You are a bad kid.

So you keep grinding and climbing that ladder, taking care of everyone, performing.

And now you’re exhausted and feel lonely at the top.

The reality is, you are absolutely not a failure if you stop grinding.

You are absolutely lovable and wonderful as you are - and you deserve to feel safe, loved, and chosen by your partner and your loved ones - for just being YOU.

This is much easier said than done, though.

I get it, I’ve been there.

And unfortunately, talking to your therapist or counselor won’t get you very far beyond platitudes and sympathy.

That’s because therapy is geared at processing your past, the story, and what happened - rather than looking at what to do about it.

Which keeps you stuck in the status quo.

What is FAR more effective is looking at how you can rewire your brain to stop being afraid of failure, and start being comfortable with vulnerability, and with being secure in yourself.

With being your authentic YOU and leaning into feeling good enough, as you are.

This requires subconscious mind rewiring and more tools and techniques than therapy offers.

But you can do it in 90 days - literally.

The best thing is, this will utterly transform your relationship.

Because when you stop isolating yourself by sitting at the top and looking down on everyone feeling afraid of failure…

And you start connecting with loved ones more vulnerably and authentically

You invite a whole new level of passion, love, and peace into your life that is truly the hallmark of a successful existence.

It’s SO worth it.

If this resonates with you and sounds like something you want for yourself (and frankly, how can you NOT want this for yourself) then
book a call with me.

I’d love to tell you more about my program where we:

  • Overcome the hidden self-sabotaging patterns keeping you stuck - including your fear of failure, your fear of vulnerability, rejection and other blocks.

  • Understand what you really need to be happy long term in your relationship and life.

  • Learn to communicate your needs clearly and set healthy boundaries.

  • Build a strategy to align your life with you true self - and step into your real, authentic, and far greater power than anything you know now.

Just book your 20-minute call to start the conversation :)

Love,

Katarina