I’ve tried tons of things to help me improve my personal life, my relationships. Why is nothing working?
Something that I hear a lot from prospective clients is that they are exhausted from trying.
For years, they’ve been trying all the different methodologies out there - doing whatever they can - to find love…but nothing has worked.
They’ve tried:
Therapy
Meditation
Reiki
Hypnotherapy
Energy healing
Plant medicine
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Polarity work
Retreats
Reading books on attachment theory, love languages, and personal development
Listening to podcasts
Manifestation
Letting go / acting as if they don’t want a relationship
Silent meditation retreats
The list goes on.
And each thing has its own expense.
$2k here, $3k there, $50 here, $20 for this book, and so on, so forth.
After a while, they start to feel a bit fatigued. NOTHING seems to be really delivering the results. They’re still single. They’re still feeling lonely. They’re still feeling burned out. Anxiety is still a weekly occurrence. And they’re a bit over it.
I get it. I really, really do. This used to be me.
This is what I call the ‘scatter-gun approach’. Where we get sucked into all these magical silver bullet solutions that are apparently going to help us, and so we throw money at the problem, trusting it’ll fix us, fix the situation, and get us to where we want to get to.
And we DO want to find love. We DO want to find that special person, and to have that meaningful relationship. We do.
We just don't know if it’s going to actually happen for us. Because surely, by now, something should have worked?
And so there’s this sense of…well, nothing really works for me, so why should I try anything else?
There’s a skepticism. A disbelief. A lack of trust.
And, sadly, there’s a sense of feeling discouraged. Disheartened. Almost, just almost, feeling a bit defeated. Like we’re really grasping for hope here. When will something finally give?
When something DOES seem to work - like that new therapist, or that energy healing technique, and you feel a bit better or like there’s been a breakthrough, often the results stick around for a few weeks…maybe a few months, but they don’t last.
Slowly, over the months, things start to shift back to the old ways. You can’t help it. You don’t even know how it’s happening, but it is. You’re back to where you were. Just a little bit more aware now, and probably a little bit more jaded.
So you get back into the toxic relationship with the partner that is giving you breadcrumbs, and leaving you on read. You feel anxious, unheard, and unfulfilled - again.
Or you find yourself sucked into more evenings of rumination, anxiety, and overthinking, worrying about the status of your relationship and where you’re going.
Or you find yourself alone, yet again, on a Sunday night, feeling a little bit sad, a little bit lost, and unsure of what to do with yourself.
I had this too.
I spent WELL over $40k in the past decade, and way more than that in the past 15 years looking for answers. I was lucky that I grew up in a personal development household where investing into these things was seen as a healthy thing to do…but honestly, I was almost a little bit addicted. Always looking for that next fix…
…and yet, nothing really DID fix me, not fully.
And I could never understand why I kept taking two steps forward and one and ¾ steps back (at best).
What I realized though, after calling off my first engagement, and honestly getting to this point of just being absolutely sick of all of it - I realized that there are techniques that work, and techniques that, frankly, don’t.
When I called off that engagement, I was destroyed. I’d had essentially a nervous breakdown and mini ego-death as my entire worldview had imploded from within, and everything I thought I knew - my life plan, what I wanted, my identity, sense of self, my timeline, biological clock, marriage, family, kids, and so on, had collapsed. I felt terrified. Alone during covid in Canada. No one around me. Financially tied to my ex fiance. Scared. Very, very scared.
So I did one thing:
I embarked on a mindfulness teacher training program.
I spent 3 weeks essentially in deep meditation, for hours a day, training to be a mindfulness teacher - which I’d already booked prior to calling off the engagement as part of my life plan with that ex fiance…so I went ahead and just did it anyway. There was no real purpose to it, other than sunk cost fallacy, and heck, maybe it would help me.
And it did.
What it did, was it gave me clarity.
It got me out of my own way, and showed me that if I really wanted to heal, to grow, and to ever find love again, I had to stop looking for silver bullet solutions like reiki or energy healing, and just do the bloody inner work.
Just go inward, and systematically, step by step, DO THE WORK.
So I did.
For 11 months on and off, I fumbled around figuring it out for myself.
I started to take stock of my patterns in dating and relationships.
I started practicing the reprogramming tools to heal my attachment wounds, blocks, and belief systems that weren’t serving me, using the same tools I’d used to heal myself from anorexia nearly a decade prior.
I started studying healthy relationships, compatibility.
I refreshed my understanding of modern gender dynamics, relationships and how it all comes together.
I started getting clear on my needs.
And so on.
I started, all those years ago, essentially doing the program that I now teach my clients - the Successfully in Love ® method.
And it worked. It fricking worked. Within 11 months I’d met my now husband.
Now - why was this different to all the scatter-gun stuff I’d been doing before?
Why does my methodology work when so many others don’t?
It’s because my methodology works on the CORE level.
It works on the IDENTITY level.
It goes to the ROOT causes and pulls out the **** that’s holding you back, keeping you stuck, getting in your way, making you trip up.
My program is designed to change your relationship to yourself so that you change your identity.
Because that’s where EVERYTHING ELSE stems from.
And once you change THAT, your whole life transforms.
Including your relationships - especially your intimate relationship.
And it does this in a systematic, coherent, clear way, where the results compound on each other - rather than leave you high and dry, doing a bit here, and a bit there.
It’s coherent. It’s end to end. It’s tangible.
And this is the difference between getting half-arsed results and LIFE-CHANGING results with my clients.
𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐞, root 𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥.
And most programs, most practitioners, simply don’t do this in depth. Because in many ways, it would get them out of business because clients wouldn’t need more coaching or therapy after it.
(I'll be forever grateful to my own teachers who have helped me discover these tools and techniques to do that)
This is where the rubber hits the road with creating an incredible, healthy relationship. It’s an inner job - and it’s got to be an end to end, full, systematic job. Not just a bit of energy work or a reiki session or two.
If this feels scary and overwhelming, please don’t be either. It’s not. It’s a simple 3 - 6 month process that you can move through with ease and flow, in a way that works with your busy schedule. Trust me.
If any of this resonates with you and you want to learn more, drop me a DM with ‘SCIENCE’ to learn more about how I can help you.
All my love,
Katarina
