Whether you’re single and have been struggling for years to find the right match for you, or you’re in a long term relationship (or marriage) but are feeling unfulfilled in it…it may be that you are blocking yourself unconsciously from having exactly what you want.

This isn’t to say you’re doing it consciously or that it’s somehow your fault - we all have blockers and blind spots that we aren’t aware of, and that we gained as children (without realizing it or choosing it).

So if you ARE blocking yourself, rest assured you’re not alone, and it’s not your fault. Not at all.

Being in relationship limbo and not knowing whether to stay or go is one of the hardest, and most debilitating places to be.

Going slightly crazy, your mind constantly going back and forth, deliberating over what to do, what’s wrong with you, what’s wrong with the relationship, what’s wrong with them.

Googling for answers, trawling through internet forums trying to see if other people have felt this way. Talking to friends, watching reality TV shows about love and trying to see if other people have been through similar dilemmas.

These patterns that you keep seeing - the pattern of emotional unavailability, drama, stress, anxiety, feeling like you’re low priority for someone, feeling like you’re stuck in limbo, feeling like you’re on a rollercoaster of receiving hot and cold love from someone…

Where you’re constantly feeling anxious, you find yourself ruminating, thinking a lot, worrying, debating what to do, debating what to say, going back and forth…

Where you find yourself second-guessing yourself, doubting yourself, and wondering what’s the ‘right’ thing to do…

I had this too.

I spent WELL over $40k in the past decade, and way more than that in the past 15 years looking for answers. I was lucky that I grew up in a personal development household where investing into these things was seen as a healthy thing to do…but honestly, I was almost a little bit addicted. Always looking for that next fix…

…and yet, nothing really DID fix me, not fully.

The problem with a ton of this stuff is that it’s all so unbelievably niche - focusing on one TINY area of relationships (‘trauma’ the ‘somatics’, ‘attachment’, ‘polarity’, ‘communication’ or whatever the heck it is) that it’s just a load of incongruent, soundbite, narrow bits of info out there - that don’t actually work together as a whole, half the time, and don’t make sense when we pull them all in together.

I hear it all the time from clients:

“I keep attracting emotionally unavailable women. They show interest in me initially and pursue me, but as soon as we get close or a real relationship starts to form, they start to lose interest and things fizzle out”.

“I keep attracting women who shut down when the going gets tough, and either they walk away, avoid hard conversations, get defensive, or throw it back in my face”.

“I keep attracting men who give me just breadcrumbs of affection and don’t give me what I really want and need…but I can’t seem to stop being attracted to them”.

“I keep attracting men who pursue me at the beginning and are super romantic, giving me flowers, taking me on dates, and doing everything that I want, but then I find out that they’re actually in a relationship with someone else - or they just disappear”.

These patterns that you keep seeing - the pattern of emotional unavailability, drama, stress, anxiety, feeling like you’re low priority for someone, feeling like you’re stuck in limbo, feeling like you’re on a rollercoaster of receiving hot and cold love from someone…

Where you’re constantly feeling anxious, you find yourself ruminating, thinking a lot, worrying, debating what to do, debating what to say, going back and forth…

Where you find yourself second-guessing yourself, doubting yourself, and wondering what’s the ‘right’ thing to do…