Blog Posts
What if I can’t change? A story to change your mind
So often I get approached by men and women in their 40s and 50s, wanting help with their relationships, but worried that they are too old to change.
The conversation usually goes something like this:
Them: “I’m stuck in a bit of a situation right now. I really want to find love, create that happy family/life for myself but I can’t seem to find my person. I think it’s because I’m working a lot and don’t have time for a partnership right now/anxious/insecure/caught up in a hot and cold dynamic with someone/living in a small city/not sure what I am doing etc etc.”
Me: “Got it. That sounds like the exact sort of situation I’m well versed in helping folks through. I understand - and I get it. The great news is, you can change this within as short as 3 months if you apply yourself and do the personal growth.”
Them: “I don’t know if it will work on me though…I’ve tried therapy/counselling before and it didn’t really have any impact. I’ve tried coaching before and it didn’t really change anything, though it made me more aware. I’m scared that I can’t change. And then I’m scared that if I do change, I won’t know who I am anymore…”
Does this sound familiar?
How do I know what to do? Listening to the voice within
It’s one thing to discern what’s coming up for us and another entirely to know what the message is. How often have we felt an instinct, gut response, or some sort of inner awareness coming from within but been utterly unsure as to what it’s trying to tell us?
Can I trust my gut instinct about my relationship? Why discernment is important
I will never forget going to my coach, feeling unsure and unclear about what to do about my first engagement. Everything on the surface looked right, but inside I felt tremendous anxiety – and I couldn't shake out exactly why. We had the picture perfect relationship and everyone seemed to envy the life we lived, so why did I lie awake at night wondering, "Is this really it?"