“It’s lonely at the top.” 5 reasons why finding and keeping a life partner is that much harder for executives and entrepreneurs - and what to do. Part 1.

I still remember crying my eyes out, gulping down sobs of despair on the couch of my Kensington apartment, one sunny Saturday afternoon in June a few years back. I’d been working hard all week and had the whole weekend ahead of me,  but felt exhausted, disheartened, and lost.   

I was over it. 

I’d spent the bulk of the year packing every weekend with plans to socialise, network, go to the gym, explore the local markets, museums, galleries, organise drinks with friends, and arrange a date or two, but this weekend I just couldn’t do it. The idea of just staying home to rest, watching Netflix in my 4th floor apartment overlooking Holland Park, with the sounds of playing children outside felt overwhelmingly lonely. It felt sad. I was sad.

I’d tried to stay positive and optimistic until then, but that afternoon it was too much. Dark, looming thoughts kept hanging over me:

‘Have I missed the boat on meeting anyone?’

‘Am I just destined to be alone?’

‘Is it really so lonely at the top that I can’t meet anyone anymore?’

‘Am I just too much?’

Normally, I would have wallowed in these thoughts momentarily before pulling myself together and shoving them into the back of mind. Normally, I would have picked up my phone and texted a friend to make a plan to go out, to socialise, to find a party to go to that night, or just dragged myself to the gym to distract myself. I would have found something, anything, to distract me from my pain and give me a new focus. 

This time though, I remember calling my mother and telling her about this new low I’d hit, and hearing her say:

“Just relax, it will work out for you. Your time will come too. Just stop focusing on it – focus on your work instead”

As she said those words, I felt an immense resistance inside of me. 

No. I wasn’t going to just ‘relax’ and let things ‘work out for me’. What if they didn’t? I was in my 30s. I wanted kids. I didn’t have time to just keep focusing on work. Not anymore.

I wasn’t ready to just ‘give up’ (because that’s what it felt like). 

I knew I had to do something to change the status quo, the rut that I was in. 

And so I made a decision that day to take my love life seriously. To stop throwing money at therapy and hoping that would fix me, but start looking at things more intentionally. To start being honest with myself about where there might be blockages, what might be getting in my way, where I might need to learn new things, and how I might need to try something different. 

I committed to deep mastery of this area of my life…

…intuiting fully well that if I can master this area of my life, I’ll likely end up mastering other areas of my life.

Because I knew that the quality of my life is a direct correlation to the quality of my relationships. 

I knew that in mastering my relationships to others, I would master my relationship to myself. And I trusted that from this space, everything else would change for me. Everything else would improve. 

Transforming what used to be an anxiety-inducing, disheartening, and discouraging area of my life into my greatest achievement, my greatest gift, and source of meaning, pleasure, and joy. 

And now, after honing those skills and serving other executives and entrepreneurs with my unique methodology, here’s what I know to be true:

Not mastering the skill of creating your ultimate relationship means you’re forgoing the power to level up your life in all areas – and trust, without a shred of doubt – that you are always safe, loved, and chosen even as you achieve ever greater new heights in your career. 

Let’s be real, with the direction that technology is heading and society’s ever-increasing loneliness pandemic, this skill is going to be non-negotiable for your mental health.  

Of course, this is the core of what I teach inside the ‘Ultimate Match Method’. I get into the details of how to do this, step by step, with clear behavioural science, methodology, and gentle guidance. 

And it really works. 

SO, if you want to stop questioning if it’s lonely at the top or if you’ve missed the boat on finding your lifelong partner, drop me a DM to chat. I’d love to hear from you and explore how I can help (zero pressure, just learning and possibilities). 

In the meantime, you can get started by looking at these 5 common reasons why finding and keeping a lifelong partner is that much harder for successful executives and entrepreneurs - and what to do.

See my next blog post for Part 2.