Blog Posts
Can you keep your new year resolutions?
We’re in week 2 of 2024.
I’m so curious: how is it going for you?
Are you still full of joy and excitement, eager to tackle your goals, wake up at the crack of dawn to get going, and zoom through everything you want to get done?
Or have you slowly reverted back to your old life? Your normal life? Your December 2023 self, as if nothing had really changed? (Because in many ways, it hasn’t?)
Have your resolutions gradually fallen by the wayside? The shiny feeling of 2024 worn off already?
2024 is here. What are you calling in?
So here we have it. 2024 is here.
As I write, on the 2nd of January, 2024, I feel a delicious sense of possibility. Openness. Expansion. A sense of wonder at what will come. With the whole year ahead of us, each month a new page that remains yet unwritten, we welcome in a clean slate, a fresh start.
Whilst I’m not a huge believer in New Year Resolutions, recognizing how frequently we fail to keep them and how unproductive that subsequent shame spiral is, I am a big believer in fresh starts. And what is a new year, if not a beautiful, long opportunity for a fresh start?
What to do if you’re feeling alone this Christmas? 5 ways to feel better
Christmas is meant to be a time filled with festivities, love, and lots of people around you. Whether it’s family, friends, colleagues at work parties or cosying up with your partner. But for many of you, this just isn’t the case.
Some of you are physically isolated, either unable to be with loved ones, or don’t have loved ones to spend it with. Some of you are with loved ones, but feel alone - despite all the Hallmark merriment outside. And I don’t know what is worse, really. I’ve spent Christmassess feeling both.
It can be a time of intense pressure and isolation, intermingled into a strange blur of feelings.
“It’s lonely at the top” (Part 2)
Your standards are higher than the average
You recognise that you bring a lot to the table and you expect the same from a partner. You look after yourself, you maintain your appearance, you keep abreast of socio-political issues, and have good manners. You’re also well-travelled, well-educated, have a strong network, and of course, an excellent career. You know you can always do more and there’s much more of the ladder to climb, but you recognise that you are a catch.
“It’s lonely at the top.” 5 reasons why finding and keeping a life partner is that much harder for executives and entrepreneurs - and what to do. Part 1.
I still remember crying my eyes out, gulping down sobs of despair on the couch of my Kensington apartment, one sunny Saturday afternoon in June a few years back. I’d been working hard all week and had the whole weekend ahead of me, but felt exhausted, disheartened, and lost.
I was over it.
“When will I be ready to meet my life partner? Is there ever a right time?”
A terrible false belief I hear a lot of is:
"Now isn't the right time for me to focus on my relationships. I need to get my life/work/investments/home in order first, and then I'll look at them".
Sigh. Ooooh sigh. Alright, let’s break this down.
What comes first, a strong relationship with yourself where you know yourself inside out, have clarity and vision around what you need and what you want out of your life, plus a beautifully clear strategy
OR
Accredited professional support with proven behavioural science methodology to help you figure it all out, know what you don't know, and get there quickly?
“Why am I still single?” 6 reasons and what you can do about them.
Even though I work with married couples, relationships, and singles, one of the main questions I hear time and time again - probably THE main question - is ‘Why am I still single’?
It fluctuates from that, to the slight variation of, ‘Where is my person?’, to ‘When will I meet them?’ to ‘How is it possible that I am still single…?’.
In all the clients I’ve supported over the years I’ve noticed certain trends and themes which I’ll share with you below.
How can I improve my relationships? 7 easy ways to transform them
You don’t have to suffer or settle in your relationships. There are always room for improvement and growth! Here are seven ways to take the next steps in your relationships.
Do I need a coach? Why we all need help when it comes to love
One of the biggest fallacies I come across in the world of self development and relationships is this idea that we can figure it all out ourselves. I can understand it. As high-achievers, we like to think that we generally know a lot of things, and we’re smart, so if we put our heads down, we can figure it all out. We can dig deep, learn, read books, follow instagram accounts, digest and put it all together.
Am I destined to die alone? What the science says
I remember when I began to seriously think that this might happen to me. I was asking my friend if she believes people actually do die alone, whilst we walked through Stanley Park in Vancouver one cloudy, autumnal afternoon. She met my gaze with a bemused expression, blinking back at me as she uttered, But of course.”
Do you struggle to be seen?
That I had been hiding in that relationship. That I'd never really let myself be seen. That only towards the end when the veneer had begun to wear crack, when my nerves had begun to give in on me, when my energy had begun to falter…only then, did the real me emerge.
What am I doing wrong? Common dating myths that are holding you back
We know that business and money is basically all about mindset. Dating and relationships are largely the same. There are so many myths around love that have made us skeptical, wary, and even jaded.
Why is what I’m trying not working? Common steps I see high achievers doing in their dating.
Finding a partner is one of (if not the) most important decisions we will ever make in our lives. Endless studies show it affects our health, wellbeing, finances, business, and whole future. Something so high stakes and important seems too important to just leave to chance. Yet no one stops to guide us - and those who do, often operate from a pretty toxic place of superficial advice, short-term solutions, and rarely get the drive and ambition behind our goals.
Why am I still single? The fallacy of being a high performance high-achiever
I hate to say it, but the only common denominator in your dating life is you.
Without taking even a bit of time to hold up a mirror to where you're self sabotaging, that pattern will just continue. Ask me how I know.
Why are dating and relationships harder as a hardworking high-achiever?
When we’re hardworking high achievers, it comes down to a pretty rational and systematic way of evaluating a mate’s potential and discerning to what extent they are a good match for us long term. It integrates the heart and the gut just as much as it integrates reason and intellect.
How do I build an action plan? I have an idea - what next?
Insight is nothing without action. We can have all the clarity in the world about what does and doesn’t work for us, but if we don’t put it into motion, it’s just an idea. The things we struggle to get clarity over – the important things in life – are often the hardest things to build action plans around. If it was easy, we would have likely pulled together a grand strategy and executed. With low stakes come low risks.
What’s wrong with me? Everything I tried to find a partner.
How many of us have gone on dates with someone that seemed ostensibly great on paper, but felt that pang of disappointment when we realise that there’s just no connection? That sense of fatigue when you find yourself reinstalling dating apps for the umpteenth time, mindlessly swiping.
Are relationships really that important? Why I’m concentrating my focus.
In a bid to serve people quickly, and heed the calls for help that I heard in the world of entrepreneurship. I started working with incubators, startups, and founder networks, supporting founders with everything from burnout to productivity challenges, rekindling motivation, time management, delegation, communication, and all the flurry of stresses that entrepreneurship brings.
I’m lonely – what can I do? Why starting with ourselves is the first step.
If we have a romantic partner, we try to plan date nights. We try to leave our work in the (home) office and avoid excessive work travel. We try to splash out on fancy holidays and connect over dinner with talk about our days. Yet the date nights feel too far and few between. Work always bleeds into longer hours than we’d like. Our fancy holidays fly by in a blur and dinners feel short, spent catching up on telling each other about our days. Issues get put on the back burner, and connecting deeply feels like a ridiculous and unobtainable utopia.