Blog Posts
How can I improve my relationships? 7 easy ways to transform them
You don’t have to suffer or settle in your relationships. There are always room for improvement and growth! Here are seven ways to take the next steps in your relationships.
Do I need a coach? Why we all need help when it comes to love
One of the biggest fallacies I come across in the world of self development and relationships is this idea that we can figure it all out ourselves. I can understand it. As high-achievers, we like to think that we generally know a lot of things, and we’re smart, so if we put our heads down, we can figure it all out. We can dig deep, learn, read books, follow instagram accounts, digest and put it all together.
Am I destined to die alone? What the science says
I remember when I began to seriously think that this might happen to me. I was asking my friend if she believes people actually do die alone, whilst we walked through Stanley Park in Vancouver one cloudy, autumnal afternoon. She met my gaze with a bemused expression, blinking back at me as she uttered, But of course.”
Do you struggle to be seen?
That I had been hiding in that relationship. That I'd never really let myself be seen. That only towards the end when the veneer had begun to wear crack, when my nerves had begun to give in on me, when my energy had begun to falter…only then, did the real me emerge.
What am I doing wrong? Common dating myths that are holding you back
We know that business and money is basically all about mindset. Dating and relationships are largely the same. There are so many myths around love that have made us skeptical, wary, and even jaded.
Why is what I’m trying not working? Common steps I see high achievers doing in their dating.
Finding a partner is one of (if not the) most important decisions we will ever make in our lives. Endless studies show it affects our health, wellbeing, finances, business, and whole future. Something so high stakes and important seems too important to just leave to chance. Yet no one stops to guide us - and those who do, often operate from a pretty toxic place of superficial advice, short-term solutions, and rarely get the drive and ambition behind our goals.
Why am I still single? The fallacy of being a high performance high-achiever
I hate to say it, but the only common denominator in your dating life is you.
Without taking even a bit of time to hold up a mirror to where you're self sabotaging, that pattern will just continue. Ask me how I know.
Why are dating and relationships harder as a hardworking high-achiever?
When we’re hardworking high achievers, it comes down to a pretty rational and systematic way of evaluating a mate’s potential and discerning to what extent they are a good match for us long term. It integrates the heart and the gut just as much as it integrates reason and intellect.
How do I build an action plan? I have an idea - what next?
Insight is nothing without action. We can have all the clarity in the world about what does and doesn’t work for us, but if we don’t put it into motion, it’s just an idea. The things we struggle to get clarity over – the important things in life – are often the hardest things to build action plans around. If it was easy, we would have likely pulled together a grand strategy and executed. With low stakes come low risks.
How do I stop self-sabotaging?
Our minds are so good at spinning up stories that terrify us. From projections of ‘what if?’, perpetually living in the future, worst case scenarios, hypothetical nightmares, and the general feeling that ‘this could go horribly wrong’, we have a lot of things we need to protect ourselves against. Pair this with criticism by people we love and respect, and a foreboding awareness that we’re doing something people might not understand, it’s no wonder we fear rocking the boat.
What’s wrong with me? Everything I tried to find a partner.
How many of us have gone on dates with someone that seemed ostensibly great on paper, but felt that pang of disappointment when we realise that there’s just no connection? That sense of fatigue when you find yourself reinstalling dating apps for the umpteenth time, mindlessly swiping.
Are relationships really that important? Why I’m concentrating my focus.
In a bid to serve people quickly, and heed the calls for help that I heard in the world of entrepreneurship. I started working with incubators, startups, and founder networks, supporting founders with everything from burnout to productivity challenges, rekindling motivation, time management, delegation, communication, and all the flurry of stresses that entrepreneurship brings.
I’m lonely – what can I do? Why starting with ourselves is the first step.
If we have a romantic partner, we try to plan date nights. We try to leave our work in the (home) office and avoid excessive work travel. We try to splash out on fancy holidays and connect over dinner with talk about our days. Yet the date nights feel too far and few between. Work always bleeds into longer hours than we’d like. Our fancy holidays fly by in a blur and dinners feel short, spent catching up on telling each other about our days. Issues get put on the back burner, and connecting deeply feels like a ridiculous and unobtainable utopia.
Why do hardworking high achievers struggle so much with relationships?
For those that are single, there’s a quiet, burning ache to find a partner. A longing, a yearning, a desire to find that connection. Dates can feel fun and can be exciting, but they rarely really scratch that itch. Rarely do they bring the deep connection that we crave. In the back of our minds, we wonder – is this it?
How do I know what to do? Listening to the voice within
It’s one thing to discern what’s coming up for us and another entirely to know what the message is. How often have we felt an instinct, gut response, or some sort of inner awareness coming from within but been utterly unsure as to what it’s trying to tell us?
Can I trust my gut instinct about my relationship? Why discernment is important
I will never forget going to my coach, feeling unsure and unclear about what to do about my first engagement. Everything on the surface looked right, but inside I felt tremendous anxiety – and I couldn't shake out exactly why. We had the picture perfect relationship and everyone seemed to envy the life we lived, so why did I lie awake at night wondering, "Is this really it?"
How do I find a better work-life balance?
Whether you’re a student, teacher, sales leader, founder, or even looking for work opportunities, we’re all trying to navigate that tension between work and personal life. Rarely are the two interconnected. And when they are – through remote work, digital nomadism, working with a partner, or simply being so into your work that it becomes a lifestyle – there’s still further tension here.
How can I feel more well rested? The Seven Types of Rest
We often think of rest as sleep, lounging in a hammock with a pina colada, or collapsing on the couch in front of the TV. Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, however, sees rest a bit differently. Her book challenges the notion that sleep alone can fully rejuvenate our energy levels, highlighting the importance of different forms of rest.
Why is self-connection important? Part 2
Without a deep, authentic, whole-hearted connection to yourself, you cannot know yourself fully. When you do not know yourself fully, all of the decisions you make, relationships you build, work you pursue, and life you create is coming from a disconnected place. They are not in full integrity with who you are at your core. Coming from this space, they are likely to be superficial solutions to what you think you want, need, and believe…
Why is self-connection important? Part 1
Almost every founder, leader, and professional I worked with wanted to improve their sense of balance, clarity, and direction in life. To get really clear on where they’re going next, whether they’re the right person to take on a certain task or mission, and make better decisions. De-risking the process was always important, and taking manageable micro-steps forward to begin moving the needle on the changes they wanted to see, was also key.